You. Yes you. We couldn’t help but notice that you expressed an interest in wining and dining your Wonkette. That is a little creepy. Like Adam Savader creepy. How about you pay our rent instead? We have been so busy spending, what with our recent purchases of Back-Woods Doktors and babby daddies and also the office supplies, and the all-night bacchanalian orgies.

Well, despite what we read in the comments, which we do not allow, some of us here at your Wonkette are ladies (SHUT UP!), and it would be impolite for us not to provide you with the opportunity you seem to think is so earnestly knocking. If you are worried that we will not put the money to good use, and will instead blow it on the very next thing that suits our fancy, let us put your worries to rest. This is exactly what we will do.

Perhaps you are all like ARGLE BARGLE PAYPAL DO NOT WANT, and would like to send us a paper check, in the mail, like some kind of Old? We have a PO Box now! How exciting is that! Checks (payable to Rebecca Schoenkopf, because “grifting”) can be sent to PO Box 8765, Missoula, MT, 59807. Wow, right?

This is a form. Click it until your wallet/purse/EBT Card is empty. (Just kidding! We do not take food stamps. Yet.)